Ready for Deployment?

Tonight i sit in my room, broken hearted from a relationship of a year with an empty ending, a year of training with an empty hope of confidence and a can full of beer. I sit here thinking of a purpose of meaning and a meaning of existence... I think of the times i have had and the times i wish i had had... the things we regret are the things we have not done. great quote from a great enlightened man. but if i wud have done those things i wud not have had the last fews days i wud be in a different spot than the one i am in. so shud i have done them? i dont know, but what i do know is the things done cant be undone but altered in the future. Make not the mistakes of the past but the advantages of the learning from the difference of the mistakes from the past into the decisions of the future! so i sit here in my friends room, drinking beer playing spades and thinking of the deployment of a lifetime... shitty place and shitty people. it will indeed be a deployment to test the physical and mental willl of a solider. to deny ones abilities to learn from mistakes is to deny their very existence. hopefully they will learn thier job... hopefully. for now all i am left with is learning how to cope with my mistakes of trusting others who have not earned such a thing as trust, and the trusting of others from my mistakes...
godspeed?