A little poem i felt like writing since im apparently going through some life altering changes

For you to see whats become of me is easier than one 2 three

It the shirt i wear the hideen fear

The stain on my face hiden from God's good grace

I must be laced with something with no taste

tears on my face

falling from grace

trying to be someones disgrace

i sit and shutter at every good lover

i waste and i face every good slate

with a mile of burden under every moonlit face

Looking to me to guide when i want to go hide

its like breaking the barriers while worlds collide

i tried and i cried dug and said goodbye

burried my goodbyes

but still there is a hole inside

it has no light

no sunny delight

its packed full of bad memories from which i subside

i hate to say i tried since it means i cannot try

but to carry your sin i must lay down my life

I started as a man searching for his grace lifted up my skirt and found no dick in trace

forever it was easy till i took my first step

different picture when u walk with a limp

i cannot convey how much my dismay keeps me away

convos lost to memories fog the memory that got away

i drink till im out and smoke till i shout

party nonstop to wash the memories away

but i still remember as if its yesterday

young buck me standing with no fears in his eyes

no tears in his soul

not afraid to take on the world as a whole

Its days like today that test my true shape

as a man on a mission to destroy all ambition

from the heart of evil ways...

It may destroy me but i will succeed in being the child in my mind

the one i left behind

the one too kind and loves like sunshine

the one who isnt afraid to wash evil away by being the little kid who only loves to play...

I stand a man with a tear on my face because deep down inside i know my true place

Im the guy who never can decide what should be his reason to be alive

So today this kid takes this mans place and suddenly i feel my souls embrace that

whatever i do will be done and whatever is in my way will not stay

I stand my ground as a man thats came around but i will not leave and go about my day

i will fight the demons that hold you tight

easier than one 2 three i know u see me and i know by the look on your face

Lets hope youre in God's good grace...

Happy Mothers Day...

Looking back for a moment...

All my life I have been in hardship after hardship... Trouble and pain...
There were always people there to at least say they would help me... People continued to push me and they never made anything easy for me!
Someone once said to me, the things we go through is a test... To make us stonger, wiser and so we may be prepared for what God has planned for us in the future!

I hold that close because even though I didnt have much of a childhood and being poor while struggling with a sick parent... I appreciate it because what i have learned as a kid, most adults have yet to even experience!

So as people, though most probably what society wouldnt accept, that helped me, im planning on using those skills and patience and gifts i recieve through hardship as a kid to apply them to my future... To push myself daily to remember, its not about fortune or fame not about being feared and respected but only about being a human being that people will look to when times get hard, when they have nothing left...

Being a person who can save the day...

So from here on, im going to stick to my guns and even when wronged, im just going to remember that most of these grown kids, dont know what theyre doing... So i will keep my pace, my footing and day by day work through my hardships to show others that the impossible can be done...